Worries

I've been feeling depressed without really knowing why. I didn't recognize that his retirement was weighing on me. There are so many questions: How long will it take for his first check to arrive? Will he receive his sick pay in one lump sum, or will it come in 3 payments? How much will he lose in taxes on his Deferred Comp? He plans on taking 2 weeks off before going on to his next job. He really wanted to retire and be finished working. Our financial situation won't allow for that. We still have to pay off our house. Will he become depressed being at home? Will he not want to go back to work? Now the responsibility for health care falls to me. It will cost twice as much and take most of my paycheck. How will we manage? Will he pressure me to stay at my job longer than I can manage? I teach and tutor after school. I'm exhausted most days and have a hard time keeping up with all my responsibilities as a teacher.

There. I've named my fears. Hopefully that will help me get past them. Now I will try to look at the positive. And be thankful. I am thankful that I have a job. We are current on our bills. I have a sweet, loving (and handsome) husband. That is enough.